“This I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual.” — John Steinbeck, East of Eden

The individual pursuit of the mind is a glorious thing that lends humans infinite possibility. There is a certain magnificence in the freedom to wake up in the morning and decide that I want Lucky Charms instead of some wheat-bran/cardboard disaster. There is remarkable harmony in the ability to plant myself on the sofa and slip into a Netflix induced catatonia without fear that Government Ninjas will come and attack me for my laziness. Now, I’m aware beginning my day with cereal that boasts the nutritious equivalent of a shoe is not the best for my body, and I’m certain that watching every episode of Scrubs for the umpteenth time is not necessarily sharpening my academic craft – but these are my decisions to make. I’m not hurting anyone else.

Unfortunately, this awesome freedom I’ve been granted exists within a nexus of control. Wanting to throw hours down a garbage chute with Netflix and eat crappy food is allowed because it is considered socially acceptable pursuant to the fact that everybody’s doin’ it. However, the day I decide to walk around with a rainbow on my shirt is the day I’ll suddenly receive glares of sweltering abomination and be handed pamphlets of the “pray the gay away” variety.

So whats the deal? How would my personal decision to go to scissor-city be any different from my personal decision to eat Lucky Charms or watch Netflix?

“Because God said so.” – every conservative Christian, ever, also, the entire Fox News team, also, a parrot repeating the phrase it hears most often while living in a shopping mall in Louisiana.

I’m not here to argue about what God did or did not say – I never met the guy, but I hear he made some killer wine – I’m here to argue with how people who think they know everything about what God wants us to do continue to treat people who believe differently than them. I mean, how is it that religion has always been synonymous with a sense of prohibiting freedom? A long list of Don’ts that far exceed the peripheral edges of morality. How is it that people become so fixated on the Don’ts that they completely disregard all of the Do’s (you know, the whole love your neighbor and treat them as you would yourself thing)?

Power – that’s how.

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(note: the following portion of this article is riddled with philosophical jargon and anti-establishment ramblings, so if you want to skip to the end where I say “Be a nice person and stop hating everybody”, feel free.)

Power is an apparition haunting the heart of humanity, a rushing undercurrent to all we think or say or do. It boasts a multiplicity of manifestations, falls under a litany of classifications, and tinges thoughts and beliefs in ways ranging from subtle to cataclysmic. Its causality can never be effectively pinpointed, but its effects have been woven through the tapestry of society immeasurably. It can create, it can destroy. It can be abused. It can be fun in the bedroom. It’s not wholly bad. It’s not wholly good. It’s not going anywhere.

It just is.

Religion has provided a vessel for oppressive forces of power tied to assumptions of truth and knowledge. With the introduction of the conceptual higher truth and the belief in a God with an accompanying set of morals and laws, power arose from the condemnation of others’ “wrong” behavior and remained rationalized under the guise of God’s will. Thus, some of Religion’s self-proclaimed virtuous adherents formed a hierarchy with intentions of enacting their ethical and religious supremacy over those stuck in their sinful ways.

This could have been all fine and dandy if people had kept the credo about not killing people or discriminating against them based on appearance (James 2:1) in mind while setting out to spread the good word, or remembered to treat other people like actual human beings despite differences in beliefs and cultures. But the decree to love, accept, and not discriminate are often forgotten amidst the socio-biblically derived “knowledge” of right vs. wrong. Knowledge and power are intrinsically tied, and this reciprocal relationship gives additional enigma to the need to subjugate individuals with differing beliefs, ideas, values, or nationality, because, well, I’m right, they’re wrong, so it is my job to make them see right no matter how hateful the method.

My personal favorite is someone who believes that people with differing beliefs are not even human at all, and treats them as though they are in existence purely for the purpose of testing one’s own religious ferver, taking it as a greater calling to fix those who are subordinate in their amount of “knowledge” and direct them towards the light of truth and moral vindication in order to like FOR SURE 100% get into Heaven.

I like to believe there is a way of going about interpreting God’s word that could at least approximate fine and dandy (remember the love thing? Remember?), but when one believes their worldview is perfect, anything that falls out of line with it is considered a threat to their entire existence. People don’t respond well to threats – so it’s only logical to try and get everyone on the entire planet to think exactly the way they do in order to eradicate all that pesky “maybe I don’t know everything” doubt. Therefore, under the pretense of spreading God’s Word far and wide, the moral grey area has been breached and plunged into recessive black in the form of enslavement, murder and torture of nonbelievers, sexual abuse, and for the likes of Father Junipero Serra, something akin to genocide.

Now, I know nothing of Junipero Serra in his personal life. He could have told just the darndest jokes and harvested the tastiest rutabagas in all of Baja California. Plus, he set up all those snazzy Missions so he couldn’t have been too bad. Oh wait, there are all those Native Americans who he treated like animals and beat within an inch of their life should they incorrectly recite a Psalm. I don’t care how good his rutabagas were – he acted like a dick. The Church should be ashamed to have him as such a significant representative for the emergence of religion in Western Civilization.

Or they can just canonize him as a Saint. That works, too.

…………………….

To simplify the possible rationale for Junipero Serra’s actions, it would look like the transitive property of addition, wherein if a=b and b=c, then a must equal c. Now replace a with God is infallible, and b with I am doing God’s will, leading to Serra’s logical conclusion, I am infallible. Within this pretense of infallibility, which appears to be thematic in not only this religion but many others, the Native American race was designated as inferior and deserving of Father Serra’s brutality. Not only were the Native Americans forced to build the missions, they were expected to convert and participate in religious practices, lest they be beheaded or tortured.

Now, pray-fucking-tell, where is all that in the list of things God allegedly wants us to do? I think He’d be super bummed that his dying on the cross in the name of forgiveness morphed into hate disguised as doctrine. Don’t misunderstand me, I do not claim to have authority on what The Man wants or does not want, because I accept that our little human brains could never even begin to fathom the intricacies of the universe and existence, but I do have authority over myself and my decision to not stop people on the street and rock em n’ sockem because they’re wearing the color yellow and I am strongly opposed to yellow.

I digress.

But, at least now, if we can reflect on history and recognize that the events which transpired under the name of religious ferver were convoluted and horrible, then maybe, people will realize differences in sexuality and gender preference are not a detraction from humanity and all the rights therein.

Marriage arose from religion along with the idea of designated sexuality to accompany this union. In addition, countless institutions which have caused personal repression and forced denial of individuality are founded in Religion. But Religion is not the sole disease, it is a symptom of the power relations held in society. Society and Religion have been using power as an apparatus to screw people over since the dawn of time, and bare one critical similarity to one another: they contain shifting paradigms determined by humans in a position of power – people who appoint themselves the right to control other people’s lives.

But, then again, look how far we’ve come!

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People used to be stoned for committing adultery. People used to be crucified for blasphemy. To pursue science instead of Religion warranted having your appendages ripped off. Women couldn’t do anything. Slavery. Slavery again, because it was so horrendous it needs to be said twice. And on that note: segregation.

These practices are no longer in place, and we’re super glad about that, but hatred is still out there, one of its primary targets being homosexuals, transgendered individuals, or anyone who deviates from the idea of holy sex. This is because those who believe their worldview is perfect need an official designator of inferiority, and since they can’t reasonably go busting people’s chops for premarital sex anymore because everyone is on the copious-whoopee wagon, gender preference has been dropped onto their hater gay-dar. These kind of people are just so full of fear: fear of change, fear of the infinite differences between every human mind, fear that has morphed into hate, and hate which discounts any claim anyone has to spreading God’s word.

Because here it is, if you really want to get down to the nuances of “God’s Word”, it is really, literally, only one word: Love. Love is love. That is it. Love exists independent of power and independent of knowledge – real love can be dumb and blind, ask anyone. Massifying people and dictating they behave a certain way based on archaic notions of moral superiority and “the perfect pathway” to Heaven is to deny the self, is to deny the human spirit, is to kill the individual glory of man.

“If the glory can be killed, we are lost.” – John Steinbeck

So, please, just be a nice person and stop hating everybody, because I’m like almost 900% sure God doesn’t hate who you think he does, in fact, I’m almost 9 million percent certain God doesn’t hate anyone. Well…maybe Hitler. Hitler was a really awful person.

Crossing The Logical Finish Line of My Argument

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For those who need more hard evidence to support my argument that God doesn’t really abhor gay people, here is a list of other things the Bible classifies as non-negotiable no-no’s. When taking all these into account, I’d say we’ve all just about made ourselves a dinner reservation at the 3^rd Circle of Hell.

[Note: these are not attempting to discredit or disrespect the Bible, I am just pointing out that if you plan on using Leviticus 22:2 “Man shall not lie with mankind as with womankind – it is an abomination” as an indictment of people’s lifestyle choice, then you better be abiding by all these other rules as well. Whats that one saying? About casting stones?]

“And all that have fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you.” Leviticus 11:10

Yeah that’s right. That sushi you ate from the Gas-n-Go just bought you a one-way ticket to Hell. Well, at least the hell of being trapped in a bathroom for the next 48 hours. Enjoy your bowel purgatory you dirty, dirty sinner.

“Uncover not your heads, neither rend your clothes; lest ye die, and lest wrath come upon all the people.” Leviticus 10:6

This just put a deadly damper on the whole “grunge” fashion scene. Sorry Kurt Kobain, the holes in your jeans means you’ve won yourself an invitation to the Hell Party.

“Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:28

That butterfly tramp-stamp you got in college? Hell.

“And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled. But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days.” Leviticus 12:4-5

If you’re a woman who recently had a baby, you’re considered impure for one month (if it’s a boy) or two months (if it’s a girl). Don’t step outside your house. Don’t go to church. Don’t talk to anyone. Don’t ‘like’ any tweets from the Pope. Do not pass Go – do not collect $200.

“Do not drink wine nor strong drink, thou, nor thy sons with thee, when ye go into the tabernacle of the congregation, lest ye die.” Leviticus 10:9

If I would’ve known this at age 7, I never would’ve gotten shit-faced at my First Communion. #turnupforjesus

“Six days shall work be done: but the seventh day is the Sabbath of rest, a holy convocation; ye shall do no work therein: it is the Sabbath of the Lord in all your dwellings.” Leviticus 23:3

That’s a real bummer for the NFL. On the bright side, now we can have a full on Superbowl in Hell!

“You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard.” Leviticus 19:27

That dorky bowl cut your mother made you get in 1^st grade? Hell-fire.

“Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so he took his life also.” Genesis 38:9-10

Your salty surprise is the Devil’s juice. Your ejaculate is comprised of the tears of God.

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her and if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.” Mark 10:11-12

This just got personal. Sorry Dad, it’s been awesome knowing you, but seeing as you’re going to Hell now, along with 50% of U.S. couples, cheer hard at the Hell Superbowl for me. Or cheer on those with one helluva a super-bowlcut.

“A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the Lord.” Deuteronomy 23:1

Sucks for Theon Grayjoy. And all the unsullied.

“No one of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the Lord; none of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the assembly of the Lord.” Deutoronomy 23:2

Well if the divorce thing didn’t wipe out one half of the country, I’d say this one just about finished `em. Hell just turned into the new Hot Spot 2016.

“Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.” 1 Timothy 2:9

HEY! At least the entire female Fox News team will be in Hell as well. Even though I’m still not convinced they are actual humans as opposed to robots created to regurgitate un-researched opinions and ideas. Is there a Hell for robots?

“If two men are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.” Deuteronomy 25:11

Getting your hand cut off isn’t as bad as Hell, I guess. I just need to know what Great Reward Butch Cassidy got for kicking that baddie in the balls during the knife fight – should he have had the Sundance Kid shoot his foot off?

“Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18

Does this include the 50 Shades of Grey type of submissive? Because I’d like to know if my future marriage comes with expectations of butt plugs and lashings, so I can politely opt out.

“For they are my slaves, whom I brought forth out of the land of Egypt. They shall not be sold.” Leviticus 25:42

Wait, so the Bible is cool with slaves? This changes things. Please submit applications to be my slave via email. I am only accepting white, crotchety, politicians with an aptitude for folding laundry, cooking Risotto, and saying things that offend anyone with a social conscious. Others, especially those brought forth from out of the land of Egypt, need not apply. I can’t afford to get in any wrong type of slave-owning hot water.

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There you have it, some very important rules which allegedly hold as much sanctity as that whole “thou shall not lie with man as with woman” thing. See you all in Hell. It’ll be FABULOUS!